Nighttime Hosts Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Visa Program
Late-night's prominent entertainers devoted their evening ridiculing President Donald Trump's recently announced visa initiative, called the "gold card," describing it as a obvious pay-to-play arrangement for the wealthy.
Colbert's Witty Take
Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas song targeting the president. "He is making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... destroys each thing he touches."
The focus was the controversial plan that enables foreign citizens to purchase U.S. residence for the price of a million dollars, or "top-tier" tier for 5 million. The program's page pledges approval "with unprecedented speed."
"A brief note for you to wealthy immigrants: before you pony up, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.
He noted that the program is also intended to "get cash" from companies wanting to hire foreign workers, requiring hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, however if you register, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the that one hotel," he added.
"The best screening the U.S. government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals completely qualify to be in America."
"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"
Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique
On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel dubbed the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."
"It's a card that will allow rich international individuals to live here," he stated. "For a million dollars, you get official resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choice."
"It might be time to revise that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.
Kimmel mocked the brevity of the application, observing it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."
"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."
Seth Meyers discussing Affordability Struggles
Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers during financial concerns. "People gave Donald Trump a second term because they were upset about the economy," he noted.
Recently, in a effort to tackle cost of living, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.
"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a ages."
"He's so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"
Meyers wrapped up by criticizing conservative news coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.
